I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
