Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
