I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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