Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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