Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
