I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
