I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize