Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
