I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
