I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize