I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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