The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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