She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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