Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i would punch a child for taco bell
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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