capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
