dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
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