Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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