I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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