Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
