i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
