He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
