Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
