Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize