He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
