and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
