I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
