Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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