party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
ttyl tear gas
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
