; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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