look no pants
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I believe in your delicious
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize