i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
