omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
