i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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