he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
