FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
