people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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