On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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