4 words: hood of his car
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
