do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
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Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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