what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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