so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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