he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
