You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
