thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
