Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
