why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
