Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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