Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere

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(810): View more from Michigan

people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(734): View more from Michigan

If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...

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