I wannas sexs uuuuu
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.