my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.