Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you