I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea