okay pat passed out under dana's car
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
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I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?