omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
