if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
