I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize
