I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
