his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
