i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
