he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
