My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
