Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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