I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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