that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
