And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
