what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize